Letter #14

Dear Erica,
I'm SO mad right now I'm pretty sure steam is pouring out of my ears. It started when I sent you my panicked facebook message about a certain schedule of ours for this year. If you haven't read my message yet GO READ IT!
Done reading it? To answer your thoughts right now: I KNOW RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
I cooled down a bit after that and ate some chips and took the math part of a practice ACT (I did the English part a few days ago) and did pretty well on that. Then I went to watch Step up and continue to be boring when my mother called asking me to email her our school calendar for this year. While I was on the website looking for "year at a glance" I noticed a link that said "Oliver Auditions Information" so of course I clicked on it. Keep in mind that I have waited 2 years patiently prancing around in the chorus. I feel like I constantly need to insert a bunch of sentences here about how fun chorus can be and how its so nice to not have to memorize lines or lyrics, and if I don't put those sentences here people automatically assume that I'm depressed about not getting a role and am probably not talented enough or whatever. But truthfully: being in chorus is SO annoying! It is the same time commitment after school as a lead, but instead of singing and reciting lines, you stand in the background and wait for one of the directors to tell you to walk left, or right or collectively sing this, or "chorus! I want to see BIGGER dance movements." When it comes down to it, I really don't appreciate being in the chorus. I love acting, I love singing, and I love dancing. However, I'm just not sure its worth it to dance and sing if nobody can hear you or see you. Not to mention the fact that NOBODY CARES! You are more or less part of the set. It sucks. Now the reason why I bring this up is because as I clicked on the link, to my horror I discovered that MY high school play of Oliver is being transformed into a community play. Remember how pissed I was about the directors opening up all the munchkin roles to the little kids? MULTIPLY THAT BY A BILLION! In the Wizard of Oz, I was mad because as the chorus, I was already in the background enough. Then, to add kids, it just pushed me farther and farther away from actually feeling like I was participating in the play. We were essentially the equals of 4 year olds, except not really because the 4 year olds got SOLOS AND WE DIDN'T! Now call me an attention hog, or a spotlight seeker, because the truth is I AM! That's precisely why I audition for the plays! As I finally have come to terms with the whole "seniority" idea of how the roles are distributed, it seems that life just doesn't want me to have a role. Correction: our director doesn't want me to have a role. JWEPfja;ijf ;OIJFEL:JFEL:WJTILJR!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only is this play meant to include people from all over the community, it is, in fact, excluding the very students of our school from even auditioning. Let me show you what I mean. These are the age requirements to audition for each of the LEAD roles:
Oliver- 9-13       Fagin- 40-75     Nancy- 18-40     Bill Sikes- 35-50. The list goes on. According to my calculations, there are exactly 3 roles I could audition for. Otherwise its another year of chorus for me. I wish I could shrink down that 3 because it looks much bigger than it feels. 3. 3 roles. AND one of them (according to a certain friend of ours) is meant especially for an incoming Freshman. I waited TWO YEARS to finally get A role. ANY role. And this is what happens. Pissed doesn't even begin to describe it. I am disappointed, upset, angry, annoyed and school hasn't even started yet.
Your mom came over yesterday, along with 2 other mom friends and 1 of their daughters, the one who came to your house for dinner while I was there. We hung out which was fun, and your mom showed me the website with the pictures from your adventure. I'm glad one of us is having fun. I'm so mad. SO mad. Anyway, call me asap. I'm listening to sad music and stood outside in the pouring rain for like 4 minutes.
Talk to you soon my friend who RIGHTfully should have won a certain arm wrestling contest. ;)
Love,
Stephanie